Final Fantasy:A Knight,A Sorceress And an ED
by ComaFix
Summary: An old, rather lame story from when i was 11. It is, embarassingly, an attempt at a Final Fantasy VIII/Ed Edd and Eddy crossover. Read at you own peril.
1. Madness and Mailboxes

The Three Edketeers: A warped legend!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except this computer and my soul; though I cant really see its value. The soul, I mean.

Summary: the Eds, Sarah and Kevin Out one night, and a wish changes their lives. What happens when you stick 5 teens inside a foreign land and complex plot, make them fight monsters 15X their size, and all through it have no parents? A big ol' mess of emotions. Sarah's temper flares, the ed's rise as heroes, Kevin shows his dark side and through it all, they have no hope of survival, unless they stick together! get ugly.

Chapter one: Madness and Mailboxes

"GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!!!!" Eddy yelled as he kicked their 'personal T.V'

It was their latest scam that once again, as eddy proclaimed, the greatest scam in the world. They took a cardboard box, cut a rectangle in the front, cut a tiny hole in the back, and then (I love this part) stuck a frog and a twig inside, and covered the front most rectangle with plastic wrap.

They almost got away with it, until big Ed Punched a hole in the plastic and stuck a dead fly in there to erm...feed the log. The kids got their money back, and much to the dismay of Double D, he kicked down the little dealership.

"ED!!! YOU IDIOT! YOU IGNORAMUS! YOU-"Eddy was cut off from his insanely loud insults toward their big lug, by the big lug himself"-pineapple?" he said in his blissfully idiotic tone.  
  
"NO!!!!!!" Eddy yelled, obviously infuriated. Double D thought he was going to have a conniption, and probably a couple of puppies while he was at it. Double D merely chuckled at the thought, sitting on the sidewalk, looking into the sky; And for some strange reason, Sighing. Double D had been Reading some dark poetry lately, mostly the works of Read Douglas, the esteemed Gothic expert, and he really saw the world in a different light now. But it didn't matter to talk about it, He doubted his friends ability-or should he say lack of ability- to comprehend him anyway.

Double D suddenly felt a sharp pain on the back of his head. He turned to see eddy, still seething. "YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY SOCKHEAD?!DO YOU LIKE SEEING US FAIL AT EVERY EVANDER WE DO!?!?"

Double D just sighed "that's endeavor, Eddy" he mumbled to himself. "No eddy, Believe me when I say I am just as disappointed as you." He said. He spotted one of their PTV's on the ground "And anyway, that's no reason to throw things."

Suddenly, they heard their big friend pipe up "Awwww, Eddy, Why can't I be a pineapple? I want to be a pineapple because Ed wants to be a good best ever pineapple ever to be good as best Ed knows." He said, crossing his arms and nodding emphatically.

Once again, the small distant screech of an eagle could be heard. Eddy mumbled something about hating birds

After an awkward five-minute silence, Eddy was the first to speak. "WHATS THE POINT OF IT ALL!?!?" he said, kicking a mailbox."AAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHH!!!" He screamed, no more like Destroyed middle airspace, and to no ones surprise, started hopping up and down, and yelling Curse words. In the middle of Eddy's ranting, they heard a door slam."-CKER OF MONKEY STOMACHS!!!!!" Eddy screamed, and was greeted by a familiar foreign enforcer" ED-BOYS!!!" Rolf yelled, which made all their heads snap around. Double D just rolled his eyes.

"YOU HAVE DISTURBED THE SACRED AND TRANQUIL FEEDING OF THE SOW!! CONTINUE TO DO SO AND ROLF WILL BE FORCED TO INFORCE HIS COTTON WILL!!!"Rolf yelled, the great fire of the sea cucumber flare in his eyes

"Sure, sure Rolf." Eddy sighed. He wasn't ready to deal with Rolf right now.

"APOLOGIZE TO THE SOW, INFADEL!" Rolf raged

"I, humble peasant Eddy apologize to the mighty spirits of the sow, for disturbing their feeding "Eddy said sarcastically, hooking Rolf with every word. "Apology accepted, Ed-boy" Rolf said, calm once more. As he was walking away, though, eddy helped himself to rolfs wallet." Smiling deviously, he opened it to find a disappointed 2$ and 6 strips of bacon. Ed helped himself to the bacon. Eddy sighed. Double D began to open his mouth when eddy cut him off" I know double D, he will beat the crud out of me tomorrow for taking his money-"Ed leaned in "don't forget the bacon" he said in a surprisingly Serious tone. Double D and even eddy had to snicker at their friend. Eddy continued" for taking his money. But best to not think of it, you know?" eddy said, lying down on the sidewalk. "Hey guys...when did it get so dark?" Ed said. (0o) They had been so caught up in their...business that they failed to notice the ebony sky crept over them. "Oh my" Double D said, looking at the sky. Eddy got up "lets go back to my pad, boys" he said with a newfound happiness. As he strode towards his extremely tacky and over-stimulated room, he happened to stub his toe on the same mailbox again. He opened his mouth to scream, but remembered Rolf, so instead just grit his teeth.

Ed snarled, enraged "Fiend! No one attacks Ed's friend like that and gets away with it!" he yelled to the mailbox. Eddy and Double d just eyed him "fear Ed!' he said firmly to the mailbox, and then charged it, hitting it with his head. "Ed! Stop! You could cause some major neural...oh what do I care" Double D said, depressed. Eddy shrugged" I got time double D. lumpy isn't gonna be done for a while. Whats up?

"Its just...well, I've been reading Read Douglas's works, and he makes some good points.."

"Feel the power of my holy weapon, fiend!"

"Never heard of him? What does he...um...do?"

"Fear my cotton will!"

"Well...he says that in this lifetime, in our reality, there's nothing special anymore..."

"I see your tactics and they will not work, demon!" Ed said as a letter almost gave hive a paper cut after he beat it out of the mailbox

"I can see his point. Sometimes, when I play video games, I pretend I'm IN them. It's a lot more fun that way. "Eddy said callously

"That's surprisingly deep eddy" double D said, surprised  
  
" Meh. You never really know double D" eddy said, smiling that for once, HE impressed double D

"I grow tired of your...um...you! Prepare to be guesstamated!" Ed said, eyes narrowed as he smashed his head through the mailbox.

Double D suddenly became aware of Ed's...activity" Ed, not again!" "Eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs" Ed stated, becoming his usual ignorant self again. A Dark shadow was cast upon the sidewalk as the demon child (guess who?) Sarah (well that was very hard) Stomped towards the innocent little Eds, That trademark angry face slapped on her mug" ED!!!" she yelled as Eddy and Double D held their ears. "MOM SAYS YOUR IN BIG TROUBLE FOR TRYING TO SCAM ME OUTTA MY ALLOWANCE!!!" She said, a triumphant grin pasted on her face. "GET BACK TO THE HOUSE, ED!! YOU'RE GROUNDED!!!!" Ed put on his sad face, hung his head in shame (still through the mailbox) and managed to shovel out In a sad tone "ok baby sister, ed is coming." Ed said (0o), Trying to push his stuck cranium out of the government property. Five minutes later "ED, HURRY UP!" Sarah said, tapping her foot on the ground as big Ed still was trying to weasel his way put of the mailbox. In another 3 minutes, Sarah heaved an angry sigh and went over to help Ed, or as he self proclaimed, the mailbox creature from planet Slugstamp.

Just when eddy thought, because of Sarah's screeching, this situation couldn't get more annoying (and we all know when a person thinks it cant get worse...) Kevin showed up on his reliable bike that he somehow always carried with him. Must have 'Deep pockets'. "What're you dorks doing out this late? Ain't it passed your bedtimes?" he said in his usual smug tone. (God, I want to punch him) And to make matters worse, the lamp above them burned out, in a sudden blink. Kevin sneered, "what did you dorks do?" he said, nodding up to the light.

Eddy clenched his teeth" we did do nothing you monkey!" He went up to the lamppost. He figured, his toe is already broken, thanks to that stupid mailbox (I like saying that word for some reason) his toe was already broken, so what the heck. He gave the lamppost a big ol' boot. The lamppost surged to life, and the arguing started. Kevin smiled "oooh, you fixed what you broke? Would you like a round of applause, or your mommy?" he said, with that snobby voice that just makes people snap. "I didn't break it, you stupid chimp!" eddy yelled. Sarah finally snapped when she still couldn't get Ed out "ED, YOU STUPID JERK! HURRY UP, JIMMYS WAITING ON ME!!" ed smiled "LONDON BRIDGES FALLING DOWN, FALLING DOWN!" The arguing between the enraged children went on for three minutes.

Double D just stared at the sky. He glanced over; Ed's head was now inside the mailbox, still not out yet. Eddy was still arguing with Kevin, and Sarah was still cursing at Ed. Double D held his ears, mumbling something about idiots all around him, and looked up at the sky. They failed to notice, however, the lamppost eddy kicked was slowly getting brighter, almost luminous. Double D took one last look at the sky before standing up, and though under his breath, thought out loud "I wish we could live in a place better than this. A place where there's more to life than possessions..." he said with that familiar wishing face on. That's when he noticed it was getting hard to see with all the light. He turned around just as the light swallowed all 5 of the dysfunction motley crew. The last thing that was heard was Kevin, yelling his predictable insult. "Dorks!" they al heard from somewhere the couldn't see. The last thing they saw was brilliant light, and then blackness. When the lamppost light faded, there was trace of any of the children, except Kevin's bike.

AN: Well I know that was very very short, but I want to see if anyone's even interested in this before I go on. If I got one positive review, ill continue. This is my first fic ever, and all flames are accepted. I want to know what to improve on. Sorry if any of the characters are slightly OOC, but I needed to establish a base. I'll try hard to make them in character if I continue with the story. Oh yeah, and Read Douglas is a friend of mine.


	2. Well, This Sucks

Disclaimer: Do you really need to ask? If I did own EE&E, This wouldn't be a FAN-fiction.

AN: Now the story will get progressively longer, I hope. And don't mind the writing about the three edketeers in the last chapter, it was a failed link. Sorry, Read.

Chapter Two: Well, This sucks.

No mortal words could define exactly how righteous the kiss was, but if anything at all were to come close, it was euphoria. Eddy stared back into Nazz's deep Turquoise Specs, wondering how anything could make him feel this way. Nazz pulled away slowly, Alluring lust sparkled in the haunting eyes. "Eddy, you rich stud" She said in a rich, full voice full of sense and spice "I always wanted you...Eddy, I love you." Eddy stared at her, the damp expression of unnerved feeling in his face. "I...love you too, Nazz." Eddy said, making the gap between them Disappear, as he leaned in slowly to find that familiar feeling that made his nerves numb. But as he leaned in, the figure of his Aphrodite Faded, He became aware of something soft underneath his person, and it dawned on him that he was on a bed. It was a dream. But he could still feel his lips caressing the silk of her skin...and that's when he opened his eyes. His lips were planted square on the back of his Loveable ignoramuses head.

Eddy screamed bloody murder

"AAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!" Eddy said, once the dawning realization of his subconscious activities reached his brain. Ed quickly snapped around, his over-muscled arm hitting, and driving Eddy through the bed, leaving a good sized hole where Eddy's Panicked Person once lay.

Once Eddy's screaming ceased, probably because his conciseness was lost, Again, Ed just put on his normal idiotic Grin "Who is there?" he said, rather loudly. Loudly, apparently, enough to wake their constantly distressed counterpart

"Erm...muggggh..." Double D muttered, Clutching his pounding head, Taking in his surroundings. He looked over to where that infernal racket was coming from, and he saw one of his best friends, Ed

"ED!!!!" Double D cried out, confused and afraid. "What ARE you doing in MY ROOM, MISTER!?!?" He said, suddenly becoming angry

"I am sorry, Ed has done wrong." Ed stated, a sense of sensitivity in his sad tone. Eddy popped up from the hole, obviously gaining back his composure (Awwww...) "Jeez, double D, calm down. It ain't even your room, sockhead!" Eddy said, mad that his friend overreacted. Double D realized this and looked around the cramped room. It was a small bedroom with two matching beds placed parallel, a couple of posters pasted on the walls, and 4 Foot Lockers lined up behind the door. He suddenly heard some snickered coming from his two friends, as they tried to hold in their laughter. Double D gave them an odd look " what's so funny?" He said in a grumpy tone. Eddy smirked between giggles and nudged Ed, forgetting all about the mattress...hole he was still standing in. "Hey Ed, hate to see their kids huh?" Eddy said, him and the living lump busted out laughing. Double D looked around to find what they were talking about, when he looked down at himself. A couple of arms were wrapped around his jacket! He quickly snapped around to see a VERY different looking Sarah, snugly wrapped around his arms! She was sound asleep, and Double D didn't know how she could still be snoozing after the insidious jungle going on in...someone's room. That's when it Crept over Double D, since when did he wear a jacket. He realized there was a headboard mirror in a little room of in the corner of their room. He could see it through a cracked door. He quickly rushed inside to inspect himself. He found somehow, he was dressed in very strange clothes that felt surprisingly snug. He had dawned a huge feathery jacket that was fluffy on top, but dark leather as it trailed down, a white undershirt, a necklace of some...kind of lion, some dark leather pants and shoes and a couple of belts. He still had his hat on, but around the back, some chestnut brown hair spilled out.

Double D rushed out to inspect his friends. Eddy had rested an over-the-top cowboy hat on a nightstand not to far from the bed, and he had on a long brown trench coat, some weird necklaces, a dark blue undershirt, some deep south cowboy pants and some genuine cowboy boots. He also noticed something shocking. He had hair! Long brown hair, running down to his back, tied in a makeshift ponytail. Then he drifted his eyes to Ed. He had donned a Black jacket with blue stripes going down the arms, A red undershirt that left some marking on the jacket, Blue jeans, Baggy ones at that, and black shoes with red stripes, and on the side of his face was a lighting-tribal shaped tattoo. TATOO?!? "ED!" Double D called out, making ed snap out of his trance, which made him sad to see the amazing pig races leave his reality. "What double D?" he said, snapping his head around. "What is this?" Double D said, pulling a hand mirror (where do they get these props from?) out of his jacket pocket and pointed to the tattoo. Ed's eyes widened "WORM!!" ed screamed and punched the side of his face HARD, knocking him out. Eddy stared at Ed, then at double D, then at Sarah. For some reason, Sarah looked really good to him. She wore a light pink vest, unzipped from the top and bottom, showing her midriff. She also had a chained belt tilted around her waist and a normal belt, showing off her lined pink pants, and tall black army boots. Her bright magnetic orange hair parted from each side of her face. Wait a minute...him..Like...SARAH!? He nervously smiled, trying to hide the fact that he was staring at Sarah.

Double D just shrugged it off, as he looked around "Where...are we? He said, hoping Eddy would know. Eddy shrugged "don't know, but what the heck are you doing in those clothes?" Eddy said smirking "the cowboy look is IN...."

Double D held a neurotic look for a second, but then began looking around "You seem awfully calm.." he stated indignantly

Eddy shrugged "Because I know if we are all here, And Sarah's here, this is some kind of joke pulled by the only other person when the light went on the fritz, Bazooka Chin Kevin." He said, trying to find something to distract them. Sarah slowly mumbled, starting to rise. Someone with pure black short hair popped in on their open door, wearing some kind of funky outfit "Hurry up or you'll be late for class, guys!" she said, huffing as in a hurry. She eyed their group" and wake the instructor!" she said a final time, and rushed in the opposite direction. Eddy stared at her for a minute, before shrugging it off. He slowly strided off past his two friends. "You heard her. Wake the demon child and get this juvinile prank over with." He said rather gruffly as Ed rose from his unconscious disposition "Who is there?" he said with a smirk. Double shook his head, and went to pick up Sarah; careful not to wake her, as they all did their trademark runs through the halls. Eddy Smirked at all the cute school girls they passed as their trek through this huge palace lengthened, As it dawned on all the Eds that this was much more than a prank as they stared at the marble encrusted halls, their vision dancing through this huge place, as they observed the fountains, pillars of stone and gawked in utter amazement." Ok...WHERE THE HELL ARE WE!?!" Eddy said, wide eyed in panic as the Eds realized the S&% they really were in. all except Ed, that is. He just grinned, and some schoolgirls giggled and pointed at him. "Well, This sucks" Ed said, looking around calmly. Eddy and double stared at Ed, and eddy pounced on him "HEY LUMPY?! DO YOU REALIZE WHAT WE HAVE GOTTEN OURSELVES INTO?!" Eddy said, in a mix of fear and anger. Double shushed him as Sarah shifted and mumbled. Eddy looked at double D like the rating would be raised if he got a blunt object, but his anger somehow was stifled when he saw a group of girls smile at him. Double D just smirked "oh please!" he said, annoyed as he looked for a directory. He found what he was searching for, and started to pace towards it when Sarah started talking in her sleep. "Oh that's a nice pony! Ill love it forever Double D!!" At the sound of his name, Double D froze up and almost dropped her, when he felt her Weight lifted from his arms. He looked around for her when he saw eddy Glaring towards him, holding Sarah in HIS arms. "Watch it sockhead, you almost dropped her!" Eddy said through grit teeth. "Pardon me miss" Ed said, pushing double D out of the way lightly, and headed into the elevator at the top of some stairs. He immediately pushed a 2nd floor button and stood their grinning like an idiot.

Eddy pushed Double D out pf his way with a jealous glare as he stepped in the elevator. Double D sighed and stepped in, just as the elevator took from its standing position.

When they arrived on the second floor, they were surprised just how high up they were. Taking 5 minutes to enjoy the scenery, a familiar shadow crept past eddy and headed to Double D.  
  
"HEY DOUBLE DWEEB!" Kevin said, making Double D jump, almost flipping his frightened figure over the side.

Ed crept behind his scared friend and grabbed him forcefully, and punched in involuntarily on the head "There there, buckaroo, Ed is here." He said, staring off into space. Kevin started laughing his usual annoying cackle. Eddy pushed Kevin "What are you doing here?" he said through angry glare off.  
  
"Buzz off, Dork. I was talking to jerk face," Kevin said, shifting slightly towards double D

"Whatever. Nice wardrobe, Jerk" Eddy said sarcastically. Kevin had a long white trench on, no red cap, but instead short Flame-scarred orange hair. He also had holes in the shoulder, a barely noticeable necklace, long black pants, and black shoes. Kevin smirked "Your one to talk." He said, remembering a certain south park "why don't you go eat some pudding with lumpy and let us grownups talk." He smiled before taking his leave deeper into this massive building. Eddy looked like a fuse snapped in his head. He would of socked Kevin if his arms weren't already occupied.  
  
After their break, they continued to search the second floor until they found what looked like a classroom "SCHOOL?!" eddy said, a manic trace in his depressed and outraged voice." What's a school?" Ed asked, being the first to barge in. double D looked delighted "School, eddy! Think about it! We get to experience the joy of cultivating facts and exciting truths about the mysteries and information of the rising world of tomorrow! Shall we?" he said, practically skipping into the room and immediately found a seat, while Ed was talking with some other guys in a corner. Eddy mumbled and trudged in after them. As soon as he peaked into the room with Sarah still in his arms, the whole class made an "OOOOOOHHHH!" noise, and eddy did his best to ignore them. But knowing eddy, his best wasn't exactly enough. He laid Sarah down of the desk for a minute before he went up to talk with double D. Before he could, though, the bell rang, and the noise was more than sufficient to wake the sleeping beast. Sarah Yawned as she came to see the surroundings all around her. Surprisingly, she sat in her seat and began reading papers, as though a mutual habit. Eddy looked rather surprised, but went up to talk to double D as everyone sat down. "Welcome to class. My name is..." Sarah looked around for some indignation of a name. She knew what she had to do; she would kick the crap out of Ed after class. Besides, she loved to boss people around, and teachers Have A LOT of authority. She saw a name tag on the end of her desk, and read it slowly, as to get the pronunciation right. "Qui..st..is" She said finally, looking down on her notes "And this is my..." She shuffled papers for a bit "Combat arts class" She said with a smile, before the sentence set in.

AN: Second chapter, and an introduction to their garden. I tried to make them in character, sorry if they seem to not be so. This is more of a base chapter, so not a lot of humor. The next chapter will have some action, I promise. As always, I good review, third part. 2 more things. #1- if anyone has any requests or suggestions, I will take them happily. Flames ok. #2-Im sorry if you don't like the character pairings, I just thought of Ed as Zell because of the similarity in personality, Eddy as egotistical and sympathy magnet Irvine, and I couldn't think of anyone closer to Double D's Persona than squall. Sorry if it seems to revolve around one character, my next chapter will be much more fair. So what are you waiting for? Review!


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